Musings on Marriage

Mochi tsuki (pounding rice) for new years

This picture is of me in kindergarten in Japan. Upon our graduation, each graduate had to state who they were and what they wanted to be when they grew up. Most of the boys in my class stood up and boldly stated their dream to be ninjas when they grew up while the girls stated dreams of flower shops and (heart warming to our teacher, I'm sure) kindergarten teachers. When my turn came up, I proudly (or so I reconstruct the memory) stated my name and my dream: I wanted to be a bride when I grew up. My dream was met with laughter and was crushed immediately. Note - I wanted to be a bride, presumably because of the princess like dresses, not a wife.

I was quite happy being single when I met Sam, having decided that I didn't need to get married, much less become a bride. And, were I to get married, I had decided that the age of 28 or 30 seemed about right. Instead, here I am, 25, married, and currently playing stay-at-home-wife hence the once-in-a-blue-moon post. I am in Chiang Mai staying at one of Sam's friend's apartment while she is away fro the summer. Sam is hard at work from six in the morning to five or six at night leaving me with a lot of time on my hands. I've read, watched stupid movies, and thought about starting to prepare for the school year, and then read some more. It's been wonderful and oddly tiring. I am quite ready to go to China and settle into a routine that both Sam and I are a part of. Meanwhile, my musings on marriage.

I talked to my sister Laura a couple days ago and she asked the question that I get asked constantly: so how does it feel to be married? My answer: I don't feel married, it seems so normal. To this my sister exclaimed, "that is so Amy! You never feel anything!" and it's true. I tend to build up big expectations without planning to, and then when the major event or transition happens, it doesn't come with the expected emotions. Maybe I'm callous from all the changes that are typical of my life, or I am simply a stoic Japanese/Scandinavian, I don't know. Also, so far in our marriage, everything has been kind of chaotic and full of surprises so there hasn't really been time to think about being married. (see Sam's post on our honeymoon) And maybe this is how it is suppose to be. You grow into marriage, slowly so that you don't even notice the changes. I may retract this statement when we get to China and really start the work of blending our lives together, we'll see. These are my more coherent musings on marriage so far. The rest is all jumbled up somewhere in my still jet lagged mind...
To end, I love being married to Sam. And to return to and appease my kindergarten self, here are some pictures of my trial dresses that I tried on for fun in China :)


Isn't she lovely? isn't she wonderful...I think that about ties things up!

i've uploaded some wedding photos! thanks so much to kat and paul for the amazing pictures!

Ceremony & Reception

we're finally here in Thailand, got in at around midnight the night before. amy slept most of the day yesterday, while i played with my nephew North. we're planning to be in chiang mai by monday, and then head out to china on the 24th. i can't wait to be back in a routine again, instead of dragging around suitcases most of the time like we have done this summer. i do not know what kind of routine i will have in china, and i have a suspicion that the first few months will be spent trying to figure that out, both at home and at work.
so the honeymoon and the days after were not exactly what we had expected, and it certainly wasn't as relaxing as we had hoped! some of my relatives visited us in the middle of it and stayed overnight, we saw the start of a forest fire in lake tahoe, the largest in the history of the area which forced us to go back to san francisco because of smoke and road closures. then we missed our flight to MN by a day because i misread the date in the itinerary. nice start of married life, eh? note to all: the words "don't worry, i've done this before" might sound reassuring in some cases, but definitely not in this one.
speaking of forest fires, we saw another one on the way to LA from chicago. the guy at the gas station said that it was the largest in Utah history. i hope that this is not a trend that will continue as we travel to china! we stopped at vegas on the way, and i was a bit shocked at how much i reacted inside at the blatant display of greed, sex, and poverty of people who lost their lives to gambling. i thought myself as hardened and even calloused, and it was my second time in vegas. the first time i was there it was over ten years ago, when i first came to america. it didn't really affect me then, but this time around i couldn't wait to get out of there. we were walking on the streets hand in hand, and people would come up and ask if we wanted to get married, or see a sex show, or both, ad nauseum. our curiosity to see the place was soon filled with the need to extricate ourselves from it, so we went back to our hotel, slept, and were on our way to LA by 5 the morning.
it is 5:43 in the morning, courtesy of jet lag that i am awake. i will post some more photos in the days to come.

Our blog

this is amy and sam's new blog, since sam's website is not accessible from china. this is to follow the wonderful trend of newlyweds having joint blogs, although i (sam) don't know how long this will last as a joint blog (2 hours). i'll post wedding photos as soon as i can upload them.

we're in chicago, and we're driving to LA tomorrow and we'll probably get there sometime on tuesday. we're flying out to thailand on wednesday july 11 and will be in china on the 24th of july. yesterday my good friend angela died from unknown causes (at least it was still unknown as of yesterday). it's strange, it probably hasn't hit me yet, but i don't feel anything except sadness. pray for angie's family.